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Here I sit, broken hearted. Came to shit, but only farted.


Here I sit, broken hearted. Came to shit, but only farted.



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  1. Hi, /u/VerySinglePerson, your post breaks [the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules) of /r/Funny, and has been removed for the following reason(s):

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  2. Back in the old days when pay toilets used to be more common, it used to be:

    **Here I sit broken hearted,**

    **Paid my dime and only farted.**

  3. Written above the seat in a porta john I once used, “OSHA regulations states, any turd longer than 6″ must be lowered by hand to avoid splash back.”

  4. My favorite one that I read was:

    ​

    ***In days of old***

    ***When Knights were bold***

    ***and toilets weren’t invented,***

    ***They left their load***

    ***Upon the road***

    ***And walked away contented.***

  5. I once wrote “Why do so many people have pens with them when they shit?” in my school’s bathroom.

  6. I saw this one in Oklahoma a long time ago,

    Here I sit my sphincters flexin’

    Giving birth to another Texan

  7. The one from the girl’s bathroom sounds like it was written by a melodramatic teenager that got dumped after like 3 whole weeks.

  8. He who writes upon these walls

    Rolls his shit in little balls

    Those who read these words of wit

    Eat those little balls of shit

  9. I posted this in a similar post, but I worked at a retail chain and for 3 years straight and one of the employees kept carving the words “POOP SOCK” into the men’s stall wall every single time we painted over it.

    We never found the crazy bastard.

  10. Truck driver shitter:

    Here I sit, with a broken heart

    Took 3 pills, but my truck won’t start

    Just to prove I’m a super trucker

    I’ll take 3 more and push the fucker

  11. In the days of old;
    when nights were cold;
    and toilets werent invented;
    they laid their load upon the road;
    and walked away contented

  12. “Here I sit, in smelly vapor,

    Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,

    Shall I lurk, or shall I linger,

    Or shall I be forced to use my finger.”

    I used to write that in like every stall back in middle school lol.

  13. Some people come here to sit and think
    Some people come here to shit and stink
    I come here to scratch my balls
    And read the bullshit on the walls

  14. “Here I sit broken-hearted, came to shit but only farted. Then one day I took a chance, went to fart and shit my pants” -unknown Wiseman

  15. Here I sit, I’m at a loss

    I’m trying to shit out taco sauce

    And when it comes, I hope and pray

    I don’t blow my asshole away

  16. Our eyes locked, your hands touched, and she whispered in my ear….. “*dude, your balls totally rule”*

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The Slayer claims his Crucible (Fan Art)

You had one job!